If you’re one of the lucky ones to have nailed down your first orgasm during puberty, high five! Unfortunately, the rest of us are sitting here with lady blue balls, surrounded with iffy sex lives and a hundred vibrators with everything but a trimmer attachment.
If this describes you, you’ve certainly wondered to yourself, “is there something wrong with me?” and the short answer is absolutely not. Only 30% of woman orgasm from G-spot stimulation alone, and many haven’t even experienced an orgasm on their own before (our hearts break). This is a far-too-common issue that we tuck away because it’s sometimes easier to fake it and hope it resolves itself. I say, orgasms for all! He wouldn’t want you to fake it, and you shouldn’t have to. Our guide (and a few of our frisky products) can help you aboard the train to O-Town.
First off, focus on yourself for now. Many women don’t orgasm during intercourse and sometimes if they do, it’s much lower-level than it would be alone so, that’s right – you could actually miss your own orgasm. If you can have an orgasm on your own, then half the battle is done, but if you can’t then it’s time for some exploration.
Start by locating your G-spot if you haven’t already. The G-spot can be felt inside the vagina, against the front wall, an inch or two inside the vagina. If you put in your finger (think 1.5 – 2 knuckle’s worth) and make the “come hither” motion, you should be able to feel something a bit rougher than the rest of that area. It might not be a lightning-bolt of ecstasy immediately, but stimulating this area will yield the best results for
Next, incorporate some clitoral stimulation. While it may be a completely different area and feel like it’s not helping you achieve orgasm, the nerves are connected and after working the clit for a while (especially if you also have the G-spot in play) you’ll begin to feel the results. If this all seems like a lot of work (and we don’t want you to lose your concentration), try our some of our G-spot friendly rabbit vibes that can help do both at the same time. Some flexible models like Luxe G Rabbit Plush Stroker or LELO MONA Wave would be helpful in maneuvering to find just what works for you with less work and more options for angles.
Two to Tango
Next, work these principles into your sex life.
First, relax – turn on some music, have a drink – whatever you need to do to keep your mind in the moment. Start with a heavy amount of foreplay, going between the clitoris and the G-spot to get yourself as turned on as possible, using both hands and oral stimulation (or whichever you prefer). During sex, add clitoral stimulation by doing it yourself or asking your partner for a helping hand. Not only does this have the obvious pleasure upside, but this task will keep you focused on your pleasure and make it seems all that much hotter as you’re going at it.
If that’s not enough, (or he just can’t hit the spot – no shame) try using some clitoral toys such as Rocks Off 80MM Bullet Vibe that will really up the O-factor. For the ultimate clit/G-spot combo, try a couple’s toy like the Uma Contoured Internal Vibrator, which stimulates both at once while leaving room for your partner to enter.
And lastly, there’s positioning. How he enters you and stimulates both your G-spot and clitoris will be key in whether or not you climax during sex. Try a variation of doggy-style where your head and chest are lying down but your bottom is in the air. In missionary, pull your legs toward your chest to feel his penetration a bit deeper and feel that pleasure a little more while freeing up space for clit stimulation. And when all else fails, there’s good old girl-on-top to control the speed, depth, and angling for your best experience, as well as natural external stimulation.