Considering the frequency in which sex toys are referenced (or, more often, satirised) in the media and in pop culture, they still continue to straddle (forgive the pun) between normalcy and taboo.
Deemed the hallmark of single (read: lonely) women, sex toys often get a bad rep. This means, if you’re a young women thinking of buying your first, the process usually boils down to hushed discussions with friends and blush-inducing articles read on Google Incognito.
But neither fear nor embarrassment should stop you from dropping a little cash to take your sex life to the next level.
The biggest hurdle to buying a sex toy can be embarrassment, often alongside a belief that using sex toys means there is something wrong with your natural sexual functioning, However, if we really think about what the purpose of a toy is, we see that they are just objects designed to enhance play.
So, if you’re looking into investing in your first sex toy, read on.
WHAT SHOULD I RESEARCH?
For those who aren’t sure what to look for (or even what they want), taking their first tentative peek into the market can be quite daunting, which is why a little self-reflection is needed at first.
You should think about what you already know about your body and what you want the toy to do and then make a mental short-list of needs. Do you want it to use it on your own or with a partner? Does it need to be waterproof? Do you want to take it traveling ?
Once you have those questioned ticked off, It’s simple straight road.
HOW DO I KNOW WHAT I WANT?
Sex toys, just like anything else, might require a little ‘warming up’ to—so to speak. Diving right in and picking the biggest, kinkiest or most extravagant looking toy can sometimes be a little too much, too soon. Easing in, is most often the way to go.
Most people benefit from easing their way into toy play, but there are no hard and fast rules about beginners toys. When it comes to sex and sex toys, I want people to remember that there is nothing to prove, so taking it slow and easing into new activities, whether they are partnered or solo, is a good idea.”
WHAT TO LOOK FOR
Fortunately, since there are an abundance of options on the market, once you have decided what it is you want, finding the right toy for you is an easy next step.
But it’s not just style and colour you have to take into action, functionality and materials also come into play.
It is recommended that you look for toys made from body safe materials, Silicone is a great choice, easy to keep clean, non-porous and hypoallergenic. Glass, metal and hard ABS plastic are also non-porous and body safe so definitely try to get one of these.
In addition to look and make, your first toy should be something than excites you, rather than intimidates you. Something small and discreet is usually the go-to here.
Since this thing will (hopefully!) be getting a lot of play time, investing your money into something durable isn’t a bad idea. Look for high quality materials, safety guarantees and a warranty doesn’t hurt, either.
WHAT TO AVOID
As the process is pretty damn individual, the ‘what to avoid’ list is short. Go for what you like, how you like it.
I would definitely recommend staying away from jelly toys as these are porous. You don’t want a toy that reeks of toxic chemicals when you take it out of the wrapper, or that leaves an oily residue on your skin when you touch it – toys that do this are probably leaching out the chemicals they are made with and are liable to break down over time and should be avoided.
AN EXPERT RECOMMENDATION
For a first toy, the bullet vibrator is a great place to start. This small, compact toy puts the focus on clitoral stimulation (which, just FYI, around 70% of women require to climax) and is a discreet and cost-effect purchase. I would probably recommend a bullet vibrator like the Nu Sensuelle Joie This powerful bullet is designed to look similar to a small tube of lipstick, making it easy to hide or transport. It’s also extremely quiet without sacrificing power.
“Don’t forget the lube! You’ll need a good quality water based lubricant with any sex toy otherwise it will rub you the wrong way (pun intended!)”
Happy (and safe) shopping.