So you’ve decided you want to try out spanking with your partner, great, it’s fantastic fun if you and your partner are into it. However a bad first experience can ruin something you might otherwise enjoy so here’s some tips if you’re just starting out.
1. Talk to your partner. Sure surprises can be great and the idea of talking it out beforehand can sound like a drag, but in the case of sex acts, especially rough ones it’s important to have feedback or ground rules to protect you both. Some people like to use safe words; others can incorporate requesting consent into their dirty talk. Once you know your partner is for it, feel free to dive in, just don’t forget to keep a finger on your partner’s pulse to make sure they’re enjoying it just as much as you are. Be ready to back off if they need you to.
2. Know your anatomy. There’s a reason the prime target for impact play is the buttocks and the meaty part of the thighs, it’s because they are nicely padded, you won’t injure anything important by hitting them and they can take more when compared to areas such as the face, breasts or elsewhere. The back and stomach can be dangerous due to the potential to damage delicate soft organs that could lead to seriously injuring your partner. Do your research to get a better idea of the safe locations and experiment to learn what your partner appreciates most. The butt is always a safe starting point.
3. Get a feel for whatever you’re doing the hitting with. If in doubt, use your hands. Spanking can go very wrong if the spanker doesn’t have a feel for how hard they’re hitting their partner. Sure all the toys look fantastic and exciting, but without the know-how, using them is not going to be enjoyable for everyone involved. Try it out on your thigh or your hand so you can feel what kind of swing will cause what kind of impact. A lot of items such as floggers can hit harder than you think, and long, soft/flexible spanking items are more difficult to control the intensity and location of a blow than more solid items. If you don’t think you can get the hang of it on your own before your session, just take more time to practice and try again some other time.
Using your hand gives you complete control over the swing and immediate feedback for you to register how hard you’re hitting without your spankee needing to speak up. You’re feeling exactly how hard your hitting on your own skin and the skin of the hand is much thinner than that on places like the buttocks, so you’re more likely to seriously hurt yourself before you do more damage to your partner than intended.
4. Remember before and after care. Moisturising skin before engaging in spanking can reduce the chances of breaking the skin, especially in seasons where the weather means the skin is drier. Afterwards, make sure to disinfect any cuts or even slightly broken skin, and take care of bruising or swelling with icepacks, creams, or however you prefer to reduce bruising. And never forget to take care of the spankee however they prefer to be handled after a session. Some people like to be left alone, some like to be doted on and cuddled. If you talked it all out with your partner beforehand, then you definitely should have a plan for this, physical damage is one thing, but don’t forget the mental stuff just because you can’t see it. Remember keep it safe, sane and consensual even if you’re not in a BDSM relationship. They’re good words for everybody. Enjoy!