People who have better sex live longer, happier lives. That statement seems loaded, right? You can have a perfectly long and happy life with little to no sex, can’t you? Maybe. It appears that the more frequently and enjoyably one has sex, the more likely they are to have life factors lead to low mortality. So, maybe sex doesn’t make you live longer, but it doesn’t hurt.
So, great sex means a great life. What are you supposed to do about if you’re a man with a bedroom so silent the Dali Lama could use it to pray? There are a lot of different circumstances, personalities, and possibilities out there. It can be overwhelming to imagine a life bursting with great sex. But it’s possible.
Communication is key, both in and out of the bedroom. That’s right, we’re discussing how to talk dirty to a woman.
First Things First
One thing to keep in mind is that there is no general “woman.” Some websites will tell you that this or that will work for every woman, every time. That is simply not true. People have unique quirks, preferences, and sensitivities. You can’t assume anything general about an entire group of people, let alone an entire gender. So, in order to talk dirty with someone, you have to talk normal.
If you don’t know how to have a basic, non-sexual conversation with a woman, you have come to the wrong place. The only prerequisite for “Dirty Talk 101” is knowing how to address a woman as a human being. Dirty talking is all relative to you and your relationship with another person.
If your girlfriend is extremely conservative, her version of dirty talk might be a lot less explicit than someone who works at a sex shop. It’s important to have an understanding of the person’s attitude toward sexuality before entering into dirty talk. This is why it’s so important to be able to have conversations, get to know the person, and engage non-sexually for a bit if you’re looking for a relationship with healthy sex and dirty talk.
There are definitely situations when knowing how to talk dirty to a woman can come in handy before you move in together. We’ll address those too.
Let’s get to it.
How to Talk Dirty to a Woman
Dirty talk is all about the situation, and your level of intimacy with the individual is key in understanding what to say, and when you say it.
Degrees of Dirty
There are times when saying something dirty to a woman will definitely put you in trouble with the law. Essentially, unless you have an intimate relationship with someone, the person talks dirty to you, or you meet someone in a place where dirty talking is acceptable(swingers club, online sex-chatroom, etc.), don’t do it.
There are, however, times when you can literally talk as dirty as you can imagine. As long as communication has been established with a consenting partner, you can push the limits of dirty talk.
Let’s start with the most basic form of dirty talk: Flirting.
Flirting can set the pace of how a relationship is going to fold out sexually. If you are extremely sincere, earnest, and forthcoming with your flirting, it might be an indication that you are looking for a long-term relationship, and sex is not at the front of your mind. In order to understand how to talk dirty to a woman through flirting, and We can’t stress this enough, you’d better have a pretty good idea of the woman before doing it.
You’ll come off as an asshole in almost any situation that you jump into dirty talk, no matter how good your intentions. Once you know your boundaries, start slow. In the beginning stages, you’re going to use metaphor, and allude to vaguely sexual things through your conversation. For example, you could say, “Are you feeling hot? You can take off your jacket if you want to! Make yourself comfortable.” Essentially, something to put the mood into a more casual one, allowing more freedom to be expressive and “dirty” with your conversation. Beyond this, before the bedroom, dirty talk expands into a more direct reference to sex, granted that you and your partner are both obviously in the mood.
In the Bedroom
Within the bedroom, a whole is open to you. If you’re having consensual sex with a partner, you have already reached a degree of comfortability that will give you the freedom to explore just how dirty you can talk. Start from the bottom up though, and don’t emulate the Marquee De Sade the first time you have sex with someone. Break into dirty talk by describing in detail what feels good about what you’re doing- “It feels so good to be inside of you.” Explore that for a while.
Next, start to explore why it feels good, or what your partner does that turns you on- “I love the way you move your body.” Pretty simple. Essentially, start exploring why a woman actually turns you on. You aren’t a caveman, you have real reasons for being attracted to someone. It seems counterintuitive, but try writing down the things she does in bed that you can’t get enough of. If it makes you uncomfortable to think of these things enough to write them down, it’s probably going to come out weird if you say it in the bedroom.
In order to know how to talk dirty to a woman, you need to be comfortable with yourself sexually, and understand why she turns you on. You also need to understand what she likes in order to turn her on by talking dirty.
Of course, there are times when you are taken by the heat of the moment. You’re having sex with someone who you just met, and you want to say everything on your mind. In that case, just do it! Granted that you aren’t going to talk about dead people, animals, or anything gruesome, you can bet that whoever your having sex with won’t be that weirded out.
The goal is to turn your partner on. The only tried and true way to turn anyone on is by understanding what turns them on, and no one is the same. Unfortunately, porn stars are faking it most of the time, and you can’t actually just sit down and tell a woman to do what you want.
Start talking to your partner. Figure out why they love you, and, most importantly, why they love having sex with you! That’s the key.
Search online for other resources on how to talk dirty to a woman. There are thousands of ways to improve life in the bedroom. So look around, and we can help you explore those possibilities.