How do I get my partner to enjoy anal sex?
Anal sex. For many people, it’s a complete no-go zone. Some people don’t like the idea of anything going near their rear end, or just haven’t had a positive experience with it yet. As much as there are people who dislike anal, there are also a lot of people who absolutely love it!
Anal sex can be incredibly pleasurable for everyone when done correctly and, of course, safely. For those who have a prostate, this can be extremely pleasurable when stimulated due to all of the sensitive nerves. But you don’t just need a prostate to enjoy anal sex!
The anus has a huge amount of nerve endings, and for vagina owners, there is a little pleasure spot that can be stimulated through anal sex as well. So the base line is, anal can be a pretty enjoyable experience for all!
But just because there can be pleasure involved, doesn’t mean everyone is up for the challenge. If your partner has showed a reluctance to trying anal sex, or they aren’t totally sold on the whole idea yet, here are some tips for kick-starting
The best thing about sex and sexual play, is that everyone is different. We don’t all love the same things, and that’s awesome!
Whenever you’re trying anything new in the bedroom, it’s important to understand your partner’s needs and appreciate that they might not be willing to give everything you want to do a go. Bring things up with an open mind, but don’t be upset if your partner isn’t so keen. It’s totally okay to discuss why you want to try anal play and the benefits of it, but don’t expect for them to come around to it immediately.
It’s also important to remember that brining up new sexual ideas should always be done in a safe and comfortable environment. Don’t catch them off guard or in a vulnerable moment! Discuss the idea when it’s just the two of you alone and you feel comfortable and at ease. You should also discuss the ins and outs and expectations – what do you each want from the experience?
If you’re having trouble with being a bit too tense or ‘tight’, it can make it hard to start playing around with anal. You want to feel relaxed and comfortable at all times. Like any kind of sexual play, foreplay is super important to prepare! Get yourself in the mood and ready to play to help ease your mind a little.
If your partner is worried about the cleanliness and hygiene of anal, you might like to recommend they use an enema as well! This will help them feel a little bit more comfortable as they can clean themselves a few hours beforehand and there will be one less thing to think about. For a lot of people, hygiene is a huge barrier to them trying anal, so this could be the perfect way to fix that!
Lube, lube, lube, and more lube
It kind of goes without saying, but lubricant is absolutely essential to keep everything slippery and comfortable at all times. The anus is not self-lubricating! Which means there will be zero lubrication unless you apply something to the area beforehand.
Lube helps provide a bit of each cushioning, while making anything (fingers, penis, anal toys) slide in much easier. This will help prevent any pain or tearing, and ease general discomfort which can come with anal play, especially if it’s your first time.