Submissive/dominant relationships are a largely stereotyped kink that isn’t exactly what you might think! Many people think sub-dom sex is violent and dangerous, but that’s not always the case. In a consensual sub-dom partnership it looks a lot different than the assumption. The submissive´s role is to please the dom, but the dom also does a lot of work to show off for their sub. Spanking and hair pulling is not just for the dominant´s entertainment; in a well-matched couple, this is exactly what the submissive wants.
Often the submissive chooses their dom, not the other way around! The dom does not always identify as male, contrary to belief; often males are submissive and it has nothing to do with how they rank outside of the bedroom. There is also after-care, in which the dom helps clean up and care for the sub partner. This is a huge part of the bonding experience for a romantic sub/dom couple. Submission and dominance are related to BDSM but they aren’t exactly synonymous as the tools for submission and dominance don´t have to include things like whips and chains. It´s different for everyone! Here are a few tools to get you started:
The Fetish Fantasy Bed Restraint System is perfect to introduce a new dom and sub relationship. It´s great for preparing each partner for the role and it isn’t anything too intense yet. This kit includes a ball gag, blindfold, and body restraint with cuffs. Pin and tie your partner down, silence them, and make it so they can’t see what´s about to happen next. This set is also easy to pair with lots of other toys.
Whip play is usually the next step. If you’ve already tried spanking, now it’s time to turn up the heat. It´s important you buy a whip that will not be too painful for a beginner and can hold up to time. The Fifty Shades Please Sir Flogger is the whip you need, with tassels made of leather so it can be gentle and teasing, or rough and stinging. The material is also easy to clean and will last a long time even with heavy use. This toy is also easy to pair with other toys that don’t require your hands to use such as restraints, plugs and clamps, many vibrators, and more!
Restraints aren’t just for the bed. The Fetish Fantasy Series Lover’s Fantasy Kit has cuffs, a collar and leash, and nipple clamps that pull from the collar. It´s perfect to order around your sub from all over the house, and can also be used to introduce pet play too. This is another kit that can be used alone or with other toys.
Air suspension is very common in more hardcore sub/dom play and this toy can help train both partners up to it. It’s also great to start building up a sex dungeon if that´s what you’re looking for. The Ouch Leather Hand & Legcuffs Black around your partner’s wrists or ankles can be just the excitement you need.
Sub/dom relationships can take time to build up and rely on trust. It´s important neither partner rushes into anything too fast. This kink works for all gender in the roles they choose, and it pairs easily with lots of other types of play! These toys will help guide you along the way.