Beginner’s Guide To Bondage

Beginner’s Guide To Bondage

If the word “bondage” conjures up alarming images of you in patent thigh-high boots brandishing a whip, as your leather-clad man dangles from the light fitting in stirrups, it’s time to extend your definition to include something a bit less X-rated.

Bondage for the not-so-extreme diva is all about pain-free pleasure, i.e. teasing, touching, tickling, tasting Whips and nipple clamps? No. Whipped cream and nipple tassels? Oh, absolutely!

What is bondage sex? 

As you can watch in bondage porn and bondage videos. Many of the things you see in videos is very scripted and very difficult to try it in real life scenarios. In real life bondage is tone down and very popular in todays sex scenes.

“Bondage sounds a bit scary, but it ‘needn’t involve whips and chains,” says Susan Quilliam, sexologist and the author of The Joy Of Sex: The Adventurous Lover. “It simply means restraining your partner it could even be with toilet paper if both of you agree that will work!”

Blindfolding enhances sexual tension because when sight is removed, the other senses are heightened. This enables the dominant partner to tease their captive lover to the point of ecstasy, using soft feathers, evocative scents, and fruits.

Different types of bondage

Hentai Bondage

These are Japanese animation sex bondage videos. They are usually very extreme and show case a lot of restraints, rough penetration with big dildo sex toys and the use of spread bars and hand cuffs are used.

Lesbian Bondage

Lesbian bondage is one of the most common and popular search terms on the internet. The lack of a penis penetration creates a void where lesbian couples replaced it with lots of sex toys and bondage sex. The use of sex toys for vagina play and sex toys for breast play is very popular. Tools such as pussy pump or breast pump is used very often in lesbian Bondage.

Sex tapes is used for restrains and mask is also very popular. Lesbian bondage is not very rough and woman’s are tend to be more on the softer side. The use of a  sex toys such as a dildo or vibrator for penetration when one partner is restrained is very common.

Japanese Bondage

The most popular sex toy for bondage is the Japanese silk rope. The name was taking from the Japanese Bondage.

Japanese is very popular with using silk rope to tie their partner. Commonly they used a long rope to restrained the  hands and legs but the Japanese bondage also used it to tie around the breast and vagina.

Japanese bondage normally only focus on woman. The woman would be tied up and the breast and vagina will be play with using a very large vibrator or a dildo.

Sex toys is a big part of Japanese bondage, especially the massage wands. Because of its powerfully vibration it’s the most common tool used in Japanese Bondage.

The woman would be tied up in a Japanese silk rope and a spread bar to spread her leg and shows her vagina. The massage wand would then press again her clitoris until she cums and squirts.

Rope Bondage

Very similar to Japanese Bondage but only rope is used. Many people have a fetish for using rope to tie up their partner before having sex. It gives them the feeling do dominant.

The main tool for this type of bondage is the Japanese silk rope. There are many length you can get, from 1m to 10m length.

does bondage it hurt? 

While more extreme forms of bondage can include inflicting pain through whipping, spanking or the use of torture devices like nipple clamps Quilliam explains that, “the key to bondage is not the pain, but playing out the ‘controlling . versus being controlled’ game”.

what’s the appeal? 

Putting yourself at the mercy of your partner can be exhilarating. The feeling of vulnerability and helplessness, combined with the anticipation of what’s to come, can be highly arousing.

And this isn’t just a psychological reaction. “Muscle restraint physically enhances sensitivity and sensation,” explains Q.

Likewise, the feeling of control and power can be arousing for the dominant partner.

what can it do for my relationship?

“Bondage can bring couples closer through its focus on giving and receiving,” explains by many of those in the relationships and special clinical sex therapist.

This is about taking the time to lavish one another with your undivided attention something that can often slide as soon as the honeymoon period has worn off.

Is bondage suitable for everyone?

Trust is key, so it’s essential you have complete faith in your partner to treat you with respect.

You wouldn’t allow a stranger in a cafe to take charge of your handbag while you pop out to make a call, so don’t trust one to take charge of your body while your hands are tied.

In other words, don’t go whipping out those handcuffs for a guy you just met at a bar.

Danielle, 23, learnt this lesson first-hand. “My ex and I had had a lot of fun with my pink fluffy handcuffs, so, after we broke up, and I met Stu*, I thought it’d be fun to get them out again.

Stu was very enthusiastic and couldn’t wait to lock me up. ‘I’ll be right back,’ he said, once the cuffs were securely in place. ‘I have a surprise for you.’ The element of suspense made me quite aroused. Unfortunately, the surprise was that I never saw Stu again.

What’s more, I had to be rescued butt-naked, five hours later, by my flatmate!”

what preparation is involved? 

It’s a good idea to have a chat before you get attached to any bedposts. Set the rules and parameters and agree on a safe word that you can yell out when either of you wants to stop.

To take your partner on a sensual journey, Baker suggests dividing your items according to which sense they appeal to, and placing them on separate trays, ie chocolates, wine and fruit would be placed on one tray, fragrances and oils on another, and so on. Don’t forget to hide these until your man is blindfolded.

where do we start? 

Set the scene by creating a seductive yet-comfortable environment. You want to aim for a sensual burlesque boudoir, not a dominatrix’s torture chamber. Light some scented candles, create a playlist, scatter a few cushions for extra comfort and make sure you’re not going to be interrupted by phones or flatmates.

what should I wear? 

Since the game of bondage is all about sensory pleasure, why not treat him to a visual feast?

Deck yourself out in tight corsets and a pair of thigh-high boots.

If that’s not your, or your boyfriend’s, idea of sexy, wear whatever you feel attractive and confident in, and make it something you know drives him crazy with desire.

I’m the one being tied up. what do I do? 

Absolutely nothing that’s the point! Simply lie back, relax and prepare to be taken on a beautiful sexual journey where everything is all about you.

I’m doing the tying up. what should do? 

Slowly tantalise him by starting off with a seductive striptease. Slowly peel off each stocking and use these to tie his wrists to the bed. Not too tight, though! You don’t want to cut off his circulation.

Nor do you want to wind up calling the emergency services to help release him from his shackles.

Next, cover his eyes with a scarf and bring over your tray jam-packed with sensory surprises. “Take your partner through the senses slowly,” suggests Baker. “And, remember, this form of bondage is all about having fun, so make it playful. Laughter is allowed.”

Continue with the teasing and touching until he can’t take it anymore.

What tools do I need?

To make your bondage debut memorable, check out a few of these must haves.

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