Gone are the days when the topic of sexual pleasure was considered taboo. More and more people are becoming more open with it. We have learned to explore uncharted experiences through adult toys, and we’re elated to see that! But with the rise of sex toys’ normalcy and the frequency of their use to reach that oh-so-elusive big O, people have begun to ask themselves, “Am I addicted to sex toys?”
How The Concept of “Sex Toy Addiction” Became Popular
In the past, we’ve discussed how sex toys started to come out from the shadows. From believing it was a mere treatment to female hysteria to seeing adult toys both on TV and the silver screen, we have become desensitised to the irrational shame of pleasuring yourself. But still, that doesn’t explain how we even thought of the possibility of becoming addicted to your “private friends!”
If you’re looking for someone to blame, then turn your sights on Carrie Bradshaw, Samantha Jones, Charlotte York, and Miranda Hobbes; more popularly known as our favorite femme posse from “Sex and the City.” Do you still remember season 1 episode 9 titled, “The Turtle and the Hare?” If not, here’s a little refresher for you!
How’s the trip down memory lane? To give more context to the scenes you just watched, Charlotte is the most prude of the bunch, so it was hard to imagine how she’d be so into “The Rabbit” after Miranda just gave a gentle nudge. Okay fine, it was more of shove, given how she swore it was the ultimate vibrator, and that after having a rabbit intervention, she didn’t need a man anymore to orgasm! And when Charlotte gave it a try and said she “came for five minutes,” that sealed its fate – a new addiction has been born.
The HBO original series had such an impact to more than the plunge of sex toys to the limelight – it actually threatened the “normal” way of having sex. And when E.L. James’ “Fifty Shades of Grey” came to the silver screen, it further added more fire to the growing flames. Just ask different sex toy manufacturers and they’ll tell you it’s a booming industry, so much the merchandise is no longer hiding in secret shelves!
So, Am I Really Addicted to Sex Toys?
Okay, so sex toys are slowly getting off of the taboo list. That much is undeniable. With adult toys wide in the open, does this contribute to the danger of being addicted to them? Are people really getting addicted to sex toys?
According to sex educator and coach Chrystal Bougon, nope, you’re not addicted to sex toys. It’s the sexual pleasure that you get from using a sex toy. By using it, you’re able to manipulate the intensity and direction of the stimulation until you get to orgasm. The ability to control that is simply mesmerising in a sense, and knowing what you want is a good thing.
Furthermore, when you say addiction, it means it is harmful, but is wanting pleasure wrong? Of course not! Being aware of your own sexuality and what turns you on is power in itself. And no, it doesn’t mean you’re replacing your partner. It’s just adding spice to a hot session after all.
Guidelines to Using Your Sex Toys
Now some of you might be pacified by that much-needed pep talk, although we can’t blame you if you still have worries about this so-called addiction to sex toys. So how do we even control our fondness over these items that have given us quick pleasures?
The best advice on how to do it is to use adult toys in moderation. For example, if you haven’t tried using a vibrator ever, try it now. See how fast it brings you to O-land. After doing so, try to exclude it in the equation the next time around. Try to explore how to please yourself without it.
But maybe that’s the next question. When will you know if you have to give your sex toy a hiatus? If you’re feeling numb from using it, or you see yourself making the sensations stronger than before, then those are telltale signs to cut back – at least for now. After all, pleasuring yourself isn’t just done in one way. And that’s exactly why you have a partner, too!
Now there might be sex toy evangelists out there who are saying, “But will that make my orgasms weak or elusive?” You won’t have to worry, because when you learn how to orgasm without a sex toy after you’ve been so accustomed to reaching seventh heaven with it, it will be worth it! The thrill of getting there and the length of time makes it more explosive.
So. we’re not saying you should throw your vibrator away. Just strike a balance with using it and exploring other ways. You’re going to love the whole experience.