When I was a kid, I thought babies were brought by a stork.
We may all have believed something funny or illogical about sex before we were given The Talk by our parents or sex ed teacher – but that’s nothing compared to what people have believed throughout the ages.
Here are 7 weird things people once believed about sex!
1. I Can See Clearly Now This Myth Has Gone
Ever heard the old myth that too much masturbation can cause blindness?
In 1722 Swiss physician Samuel Tissot first published his book Onanism: Diseases Caused by Masturbation which, amongst other things, claimed that the loss of semen caused by masturbation could negatively impact your eyesight.
Luckily, this isn’t true in the slightest.
2. The Itty Bitty Titty Committee
Don’t get us started on the Victorians – the sex myths they believed are the stuff of legends.
During the Victorian era, it was thought that women who masturbated would end up being underdeveloped with flat chests.
It was also believed that women were susceptible to ‘hysteria’ and that the best treatment for this was to be massaged to ‘paroxysm’ (that’s ‘orgasm’ to you and I). This is why the first ever vibrators were invented – check out The Magical History of The Wand Vibrator.
3. The Most Important Meal of The Day
If you think your favourite breakfast cereal is a wholesome, innocent way to start the day, J.H. Kellogg has something to tell you.
J.H. Kellogg, of Kellogg’s Cornflakes, created his famous breakfast cereal to surpress men’s urges to masturbate.
Kellog believed that a bland diet would quash the sex drive.
Tasteless food and no libido? It’s a no from us!
4. A One-Track Mind
“Men are so horny, they think about sex every 7 seconds.”
No, they don’t! The Journal of Sex Research published a university study that had 238 students measure how many times they thought about food, sex and sleep for an entire week.
The results showed that, on average, men only think about sex 19 times per day while women averaged about 10 sexy thoughts per day.
5. Sex & Sport
Coaches often tell their star athletes to abstain from sex whilst training for major games and competitions.
This myth has its roots in both Ancient Greece and China, the idea being that the pent-up sexual frustration would boost overall aggression and energy.
However, a study published in Frontiers in Physiology suggests that having sex will have little impact on your athletic performance and, if it does, it’s more likely to affect your ability in a positive way rather than a negative one.
6. Stretching The Truth
“If you have sex with too many guys you’ll end up with a loose vagina.”
Enough already. Having multiple partners, using penetrative sex toys, having a partner with a large penis – none of these things are going to permanently stretch a vagina out of shape.
A woman can give birth to an entire human child, so claiming your schlong is big enough to stretch a vagina is laughable.
7. Have You Had Your Five A Day?
You may have heard that eating pineapple a few hours before sex will make you ‘taste’ better should your partner go down on you.
If you have a healthy diet and take care of your personal hygiene, you’ll smell and taste just fine.
But that can of pineapple juice you downed while your lover was Uber-ing over to your place? It’s not going to make the slightest difference, sorry!