If you have a clitoris, then you probably already know that foreplay is often a necessity. While quickies are great and definitely have their place, the fact that the it takes about 20 minutes to get aroused means that more often than not, foreplay is definitely necessary. Sex tends to be better when we’re fully aroused.
Spend a little time and energy setting the scene
Whether it’s hiring a masseuse to come into your home for a Saturday night couples massage — and you’ve got fluffy white robes, candles burning and cocktails with freshly sliced kiwis and berries to enjoy after — or having a roaring fire going in the fireplace, scented votives on the mantelpiece, flowers all around the house, chilled wine, a perfect meal, and a perfect going.
It’s about setting the scene for romance and investing in time to create just the right mood. Like anything, you have to invest in something if you want it to come to fruition.
Invest some time in setting the scene for romance, It’ll put you both much more in the mood than if you come back to a messy home, with the same old, same old routine.
Don’t wait until 11 p.m., when you’re both in bed after a long day, to get going. When you carve out space for romance and sex, you’re prioritizing the process and that’s going to lead to a much better time for all.
Dirty talk can be ridiculously effective for getting turned on—it’s an especially good way to initiate foreplay. Not sure where to start? No need to overthink it. Sometimes the most effective dirty talk can be as simple as just stating exactly what you want your partner to do to you in your most seductive voice.
If you need some extra help Cosmo’s Steamy Sex games will definitely help. Ranging from Sexy Scavenger Hunt to Dirty Truth or Dare, these games are all printed on clever tear-out cards and are sure to fire up your love life.
Act out a fantasy.
Everyone has a sexual fantasy—acting one out is one of the most surefire ways to make all of your partner’s foreplay dreams come true. Have them write down 10 fantasies they have—think: Eve and Villanelle on Killing Eve or Jamie and Claire from Outlander—on little slips of paper. Then choose one randomly and act it out. Admittedly, this can feel a little cheesy at first. To help you get past any awkwardness, Fantasy Affairs is here for you and your lover. Perhaps it is the housewife who yearns to seduce her handyman, or the worked up strip club patron eager to have a private performance. Whatever your secret fantasies are or can become, Fantasy Affairs offers you a safe, creative, and sexually satisfying way to embrace them with your lover.
Watch a sexy movie together.
If you and your partner are both into porn or are at least intrigued by it, try checking it out together. Winter recommends talking afterward about what you each like and dislike and what you might want to try (or not). Sometimes it opens you up to ideas you might not have thought of before. Start by looking for feminist porn sites.